Chapter 37: A Twisted Life

When Zhu Jianjun found the owner of the first name on his little notebook using the address provided by Huang Zhipeng, he truly couldn't believe his eyes. Looking at that familiar figure, who had once leaned tightly against him on the battlefield, feeling warmth and safety with each other, Zhu Jianjun opened his mouth several times, but he couldn't get the name "Bai Yi" out of his throat.
He stared blankly at the background for several minutes. Just as Zhu Jianjun was about to quietly leave, Bai Yi suddenly turned his head...... After receiving fifteen years of special training in the Fifth Special Forces and once active on the Vietnam battlefield, these elite special forces never faded, no matter how long they mingled among ordinary people or how far they stayed away from the smoke of war. The instinct deeply engraved in their lives, along with an almost sixth-sense familiarity with their comrades, never faded!
Bai Yi's mouth dropped open as he and Zhu Jianjun stared blankly at each other. No one knew how much time had passed before they suddenly embraced tightly.
"Old Zhu, you're out too?" Bai Yi looked at Zhu Jianjun's casual clothes and asked, "I thought you'd stay there quietly for the rest of your life, and in the end, wearing your uniform and carrying the national flag, be sent into the martyrs' cemetery." So, when did it come out? ”
"One day and seventeen hours."
"You're still the same as ever, doing everything as precise and unchanging as a clock. I really wonder how someone like you has survived until now without pushing yourself to the brink of madness!" Bai Yi shook his head repeatedly, patting Zhu Jianjun on the shoulder and saying, "Brother, your way of acting will make people around you uncomfortable, and the look you give as if you're distant from them will make you harder to make friends." Brother Xiang, it took me eight years to come out of there and return to society, just to live like an ordinary person. ”
Zhu Jianjun was silent. Professionals like them, who grew up in the military district compound and were drafted into the Fifth Special Unit at six or seven, were absolute war experts. But comparatively, their knowledge gaps inevitably existed. They didn't know how to interact with people in normal society, couldn't grasp the limits of normal interactions or the so-called limits others could tolerate—this was the biggest problem.
"Come on, let's stay at my place tonight. Let your sister-in-law cook a few dishes, and we'll have a night chat in two beds. Let's have a good chat!"
Hearing Bai Yi's words, Zhu Jianjun's eyes widened: "You got married. When did that happen?" ”
"Yes, when we leave the unit, not everyone swears an oath in front of the national flag. Although we have left the Fifth Special Forces, within our special reserve, if the country needs us, does a conscription order mean we have to return to the army unconditionally?" Bai Yi's face was full of helpless bitterness. "In the first few years after I came out, I did meet a few good girls. I dated them to the point where I would only marry someone but you. But once it got serious and marriage was put on the agenda, my brother would panic." People like my brother could return to the army at any time to carry out those cannon fodder operations. It doesn't matter if I die, but what about the girl I marry? Should I let her become a widow? But I kept finding all sorts of excuses to delay over and over. Each of those girls was discouraged by me, and one by one, I kept stalling until they lost patience. ”
Bai Yi raised his head, a faint glisten of tears echoing repeatedly in his eyes. He softly said, "Those girls left me one by one crying. They called me a bastard, called me a liar, accused me of playing with their feelings, but...... I was damn well moved, and I used my feelings! Watching the woman I love most run away crying, I really wanted to rush over and hug her from behind, wanting to tell her I liked her and that I wanted to marry her, but...... I really like her, but I can't do this! ”
Zhu Jianjun's body trembled violently. Wasn't his feelings toward Yajie'er exactly the same as Bai Yi's? As he stood in the wind again and again, gazing at the window of Yajie'er's dorm, the captivating charm that gently cast its shadow on the curtains under the dim yellow lamp, he too rushed forward to knock on Yajie'er's door, to pour out his feelings to her, and await the final judgment of the woman he loved most?!
But...... He only dared to hide in the distance, quietly gazing at the woman he loved most.
But...... He could only accompany Yajie'er through four years of ups and downs with an unsigned letter!
But...... He could only hide in a place where no one was around, in his lonely and lonely officer's dormitory, carefully pulling out Yajie'er's smile, Yajie'er's sorrow, her worry, Yajie'er's joy, letting his emotions soar and fall along with her delicate and lovely face in his memory. When he saw the most beautiful woman in his heart radiate the brightest brilliance reserved only for women in love with a student like Zhanxiage, who could have known that beneath Zhu Jianjun's calm expression, his heart was as turbulent as a river and sea?!
But......
Since they have become soldiers of the Fifth Special Forces, and since they are destined to become the strongest, most elite, and most ruthless professional soldiers in the world, while gaining strength and respect, while being wildly worshipped and even eager to imitate by some children, they have already given up some of the most ordinary yet precious things!
They are a group whose human nature has been twisted...... The purest weapon of war!
"I kept putting it off until I was thirty-five, until I was finally free, no longer having to be commanded by that special conscription order, and could truly choose my own life. Heaven played a big joke on me...... I can no longer find the kind of girl who makes my heart flutter like a fire, the kind who, as long as she lets me hold her finger, can make me wake up laughing at night! ”
Bai Yi gently stroked his chin and said, "Girls these days are different from our era." The old girls, when shopping with them and meeting little flower sellers, would drag me along and run away as if fleeing, simply because they thought a rose cost ten yuan and was too expensive. When we ate with them, we would order a cold dish and two bowls of beef noodles from a roadside stall. We ate together, heads touching, and even our hearts felt warm. Now these girls are all married and mothers. When I can only find girls seven or eight years younger or even eleven or twelve years younger than me, accompanying them on the streets, if they don't have a big bouquet of fresh flowers, it's considered shameful. Taking them out to eat doesn't mean anything classless, not novel, and not fitting their status as a young lady. Watching them fully dressed in designer brands, sitting there with solemn expressions and pretending to be polite with knives and forks, wrestling with steaks they themselves didn't actually like—only about 30% done...... A girl like that, Old Zhu, tell me, do you think I would like her?! ”
Zhu Jianjun smiled, his smile full of bitterness. He murmured, "Perhaps, no matter how long we leave the Fifth Special Forces, we will never keep up with the times, nor can we blend into the old relics of this era!" ”
"Yeah, so in the end, I found a woman only two years younger than me. She's already been married once, and she's the mother of a boy!"
Bai Yi's eyes were smiling, his mouth was smiling, every expression on his face was a smile, but there was an indescribable helplessness. "You and I are both children of high-ranking officials. Even if we didn't get anything from the Fifth Special Forces, with the retirement compensation, and shamelessly reaching out to get some from me, we could still marry a wealthy lady and make her feel wronged." But I don't want anything that was bought with money! I'd rather find a woman who isn't for money or power, but who can truly care for me. Now my wife is pretty good! ”
Zhu Jianjun asked cautiously, "How are you doing now?" ”
"You could call it happiness! Now I have a wife, and she even let me be her dad. Although that guy still feels a bit distant from me, in the end, fate finally opened his eyes. Someone like me, who kills mercilessly and even fired shots at children and women on the battlefield, actually has the chance to be called 'dad'! The funniest part is, that kid was in excellent physical condition. After following his grandfather to the provincial military district hospital for a check-up, those people from the Fifth Special Forces Recruitment Department actually came to my house again, discussing how to recruit my son, who had been recruited halfway, into the Fifth Special Forces Elite Training School! ”
Bai Yi suddenly burst out laughing, shouting, "With one punch, I punched that turtle brat who ran up to me, making him roll on the ground three or four times, hahaha...... What I wanted to do most in the army was to be fulfilled in the end because I had a son! Just because of this, I made a decision: I will never have a second child in this lifetime. He is my own son Bai Yi! ”
Zhu Jianjun was stunned; he truly had nothing left to say. Suddenly, a strange silence fell between the two. After a long while, Zhu Jianjun pointed to the elementary school campus behind Bai Yi and said, "But how could you ......?"
"It's strange that a proper Fifth Special Forces professional soldier, with his own father still alive, after transferring to civilian work, ended up working at a small school, earning only 500 yuan a month, and often owing payment as a gatekeeper, right? Actually, at first, I didn't think of it myself! ”
Bai Yi shrugged lightly and said, "Starting a company, I have a bad temper, always offend people, and I care too much about principles. It's definitely a loss, no gain." Don't be fooled by the fact that we all have some prestigious university bachelor's diploma on us—so what? I went out into the world to look for work, and at most three months I had to change jobs—like beating the boss's secretary into a giant panda, dragging a colleague who was secretly trying to trip me up to the rooftop and hanging his head and feet upside down outside the railing, scaring the company into calling 110 to call the police. I've done this more than once, damn it. Although every time I learned a lesson afterward, I kept telling myself I had to stay calm, learn to be tolerant, and learn to be hypocritical, think about it, Old Zhu. Several of us brothers have all fought on the battlefield and slept among piles of corpses. That kind of hostility gathered from the battlefield really can't be worn away in just a day or two. Once things get the hang of things, once anger flares up, what they do is absolutely jaw-dropping. ”
"Just like that, I made my mark in society for over ten years. One day, while I was sending my son to school, I suddenly fell in love with this place!"
This time, Bai Yi truly smiled. He gazed at the elementary school students playing freely on campus and said softly, "Here, I suddenly found my dream." None of us had our own childhoods. At this age, we already faced the instructors' harshest training and the terrifying shouts that made our hearts race. At this point, we were about to start learning about firearms and ballistic principles, but we had never played stone catching or throwing beanbags. I like sitting in the reception room, watching them play. Sometimes when they're small, I even go over and join in. These kids all think I'm approachable, but actually...... I really want to play with them! ”
"Here I am, rediscovering my ...... Childhood! ”
A soccer ball rolled to Bai Yi and Zhu Jianjun's feet. Zhu Jianjun set down the object that suddenly appeared beside him, instinctively training to quickly judge that this soccer ball could still jump, bounce, run, and roll, and that it might contain various deadly weapons hidden inside. Bai Yi smiled and bent down to pick it up.
A group of children shouted from afar, "Boss Bai, kick the ball back!" ”
"Alright!"
Bai Yi kicked hard, and the soccer ball traced a beautiful arc through the air, landing straight among the children.
Zhu Jianjun was once again stunned. Bai Yi had earned a fifth-dan black belt in karate in the Fifth Special Forces and could break five-inch blocks of ice with a single kick. On the battlefield, he had once killed three enemy special forces soldiers with a single kick, earning the nickname 'Death Scythe.' But now, his foot had become the one he used to kick back a soccer ball while playing games with children!